Live light Live happily

Live light Live happily

The race to the finish in life manifests in a competition with the self & others that seemingly never ends.  Judging others is natural for a human being but judging them wrong generates feeling of guilt. There are situations, people, disappointments, highs & lows when things don’t go the way compatible with our belief patterns and plan. Irritated by the disruption of one’s peaceful & relaxed atmosphere caused by pre-judging a situation/people one thinks & acts guided by his/her belief patterns that one later regrets. For example one realizes later that someone was actually a very kind & genuine person rather than rude as thought but by this time our relationships has already gone sour and the realization now hurts affecting our quality of life, well being and success.

Evaluate, reflect, improve & change own perspective rather than judging others to lead a happy life. Better understanding & compassion toward oneself & others encourages one to “live in the moment” and boosts self-esteem. Replacing worrying or critical thoughts with positive thoughts & affirmations result in the negative emotions lose their ability to harm and upset us. Pause to stop what distracts you from who you truly are, Reflect, Release outdated views & expectations that have no real purpose in your daily life, Appreciate the experience and Decide to live happily.

Frustration

Anmol Singh- Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Frustration

There are two things in life that we can never change; the past and other people/situation. Frustration is a sign of failure & every time that we fail in getting what we want our self-esteem & self-confidence are reduced. Frustration is a form of fear or anger, emotions that arise inside us, distract us & even blind us. The negative emotions makes one lose control & dictates one’s response. The expectations (disguised desires) generates a conflict, we feel victimized and blame others/situation for our unhappiness and loose our sense of well-being. Our negative perception, attitude & behavior to change, influence & control others/situation is responsible for the mental & emotional pain. Accept & embrace the ideal & the not-so-ideal, without conditions, to create an energetic shift. In times of struggle & hardships, channelize your anger, remain calm, explore and work harder to realise your dreams. Self appreciation of one’s positive traits develops faith & trust in one’s sincere efforts and boosts morale. Encouragement clubbed with compassionate genuine criticism aimed at mending approach to life and improvement does appeal to one’s ego and sense of worth.

Forgiving is not forgetting.

Forgiving is not forgetting.

Memories of events like physical abuse, public humiliation, violence, coercive actions etc. experienced at the hands of others at some point of time in life triggers emotional hurts. The anger & grudge so generated and carried makes one simmer with bitterness generating unwarranted stress that proves toxic for the mental health. The maturity lies in forgiving others for their uncouth (unmannerly) behaviour to maintain psychological stability and composure. Forgiving is not forgetting but letting go of the resentment and revengeful attitude. Forgiveness is not weakness but encompassing love & compassion over negative emotions for those who have hurt you irrespective of their attitudes.  Manage your stress for a inner sense of peace, happy & healthy life. Practicing meditation, utterance of mantras, breathing exercises, listening to music regularly are some of the ways to release unnecessary tensions, de-stress & calm one’s agitated mind. Professional counselling helps in healing the wounds of the past events.  

Explore & experiment

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Success in life depends upon disciplined life style and the courage of conviction. Believe in self, be confident to dream big, come out of comfort zone and try newer things. One evolves as one grows in life gaining different experiences with different people. Present time is more demanding and exciting as one has to deal with better informed and aware people.  In the struggle to maintain sanity and keep yourself rooted, you need to explore and experiment with different options to know thyself fully.

Self Growth

Anmol Singh- Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

A young mind wishes to be confident, have fun, flirt, carve a niche for self and make peace with his/her own individuality. One yearns for freedom to choose, explore, discover self, have me-time and me-space with no interference in his/her conduct of life. Experience of staying alone while growing up, away from the protective environment free from the scrutiny of your actions by parents/well wishers, managing own shelter, meals, laundry, money matters, travel, learns about diverse people around, makes one stronger, better person and responsible for own decisions. The perceptible change in the version of life acquired under protective environment shall come through mental & emotional growth, enhanced capability to understand, managing things of his/her own, firsthand experience of life & be responsible.

The core traits - Persistence, Patience and Perseverance.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

The core traits - Persistence, Patience and Perseverance.  

An individual who does not give up when the going gets tough brings in stability & peace in his/her life. Persistence, patience and perseverance are the core traits/characteristics of this individual’s personal life that motivates & drives him/her to take small steps one after the other to overcome the roadblocks dampening his/her spirit, remain enthusiastic, remain on chosen course, learn and unlearn habits to defeat the adverse conditions and remain joyful to propel personal growth.   

The respect and consideration exhibited in the course of interpersonal interaction enhances the mutual likeability between two individuals. An individual is judged by the confident assertiveness retaining his/her composure exhibited during the dialogue for worthiness and credibility while entering into a relationship. A grateful, calm, happy, healthy, truthful, positive person exhibiting awareness, clarity of thoughts/perspective, life philosophy of self restraint, sense of humour, compassion, love, conduct devoid of deceit, greed, anger, pride & hatred is always a valuable asset to his/her partner.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Self talk - Inner dialogue

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Self talk - Inner dialogue

Life gets rough when one commits mistakes, faces failures, rejection, depression & anxiety, don’t give up display strength. Self talk is a habit with humans that builds up the perception one carries, whether optimistic/positive or pessimistic/negative and it accordingly makes a huge difference to one’s conduct in the face of any adverse circumstance. Pessimistic self talk makes one feel vulnerable & start living in own fortress thus holds one from looking for solutions whereas optimistic self talk motivates one look for & find solutions. One who is aware of the problem impacting his/her life, thinks with clarity, redefines one’s assumptions/presumptions and replaces negative mindset into positive one succeeds in breaking the recurring pessimistic pattern to create a positive inner dialogue. It helps one break silence, rid himself / herself of suppressed feelings, consciously stop recurring negative thoughts and perceive any circumstance as less stressful thus making life easy and enjoyable. Life is meant to be lived. 

One’s decision to opt for professional counselling session is not one’s weakness but a sign of absolute strength. Depression is a neurological disease that brings in structural changes in brain. The trigger for depression setting in can be certain life event or circumstances. An individual may turn to intake of drugs/alcohol etc to cope with stress and end up getting addicted. One’s endeavour must be to express and discuss one’s worries or inimical thoughts like time to end life, with someone trust worthy for sense of relief. One’s family members and well wishers need to develop a rapport. They must have clear, consistent, firm dialogue without being critical & harsh to help one see how it is impacting the life and goals. Exercise, yoga, meditation all help to reduce stress and act as mood elevators. Pets do help in coping & reducing stress because relationships with pets are less complicated than those with humans and are often a source of great enjoyment.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

How to face a stressful situation – whether related to relationship or workplace

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

How to face a stressful situation – whether related to relationship or workplace 

Exposure to a stressful situation whether related to relationship or workplace is inevitable. A simple example; one barges uninvited into the quiet conversation/debate and creates a distracting ruckus that derails the seriousness is not uncommon and avoidable. The situation is not always in one’s control but the way of handling it is in one’s control. One himself / herself is responsible for the upsets due to offsets triggered due to the uninvited interruptions in the recurring patterns of our thoughts.  Accept & assess the situation, address it by handling such an upsetting situation via comfortable adaptation to it for effecting a change in certain aspects of the situation and gain an emotional comfort. Take it as a challenge rather than as a threat; deal with an attitude of ease and calm to remain focused on your agenda.