Depressive State of mind - Alarming

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

A state of mind - Feeling low due to persistent sadness and loss of interest affecting personal, social and occupational life - is symptomatic of depression. The person is engulfed with hopelessness, develops pessimistic approach towards life, either experiences insomnia or oversleeps, suffers from feeling of guilt, gain/loss of appetite & body weight and is irritated/angry all the time, it is time to seek professional advice.

The support group (family members/friends/well wishers/colleagues) in case you observe that the person you love/concerned about:-     

1.    Loses interest in activities he/she once enjoyed.

2.    Having problem with sleep (Insomnia or oversleep)

3.    Exhibits low energy (Tiredness)

4.    Found sluggish/irritated/agitated all the time (Anxiety)

5.    Has difficulty in concentrating

6.    Change in appetite/ body weight (Increased craving for food or poor appetite)/(body weight gain/body weight loss)

7.    Exhibits feeling of hopelessness & worthless (Guilt)

8.    Expresses frequent thoughts of ending life (suicide)

Immediately help him/her seek professional advice.  

Time to save your relationship.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Time to save your relationship.

The personality, thoughts & beliefs of a partner, unfulfilled needs, and break in communication determines the state of mind and that in turn determines the actual state of relationship. The mind dominated by chaos, confusion, fear & hatred, a kind of negative thinking, makes one hurt partner’s esteem involuntarily inviting equally negative response that leads to developing brittle & toxic relationship over the time.

Generally we often suppress feelings to navigate through confrontational situation and maintain semblance for some time till one’s patience yields. Evoke, engage, unlock your feelings and converse with partner about the state of personal relationship in order to address the huge amount of hidden grief and resolve the issues. 

Critical thinking helps one contemplate, understand & navigate the reality, immensely important for how we act/react in relationship. Get into other’s shoes (role reversal) to understand, realize what made him/her respond the way that hurt you. The insight will help you start putting thoughts of rebuilding a healthy relationship in your mind. Doing so will start you on the road to turning those thoughts of good relationship into real.

A perspective

A perspective

Love, respect and commitment for each other are the prerequisites to nurture and maintain a healthy flourishing relationship for a happy life. All too often, instead of accepting own failings one conveniently blames the other thereby leading to deterioration of warmth in relationship. Growing up is lots of fun and thrill. The fear of the prospect of losing own safety net and comfort zone holds back one from experimenting. There are two types of fear-ones that turns into realty and the ones that remain in the virtual space of mind. Either way, right choice shapes one’s future.

Facing emotional upheaval

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh 

One’s interaction with some people, whom one meets and uncertainties associated with challenging situations one is in, makes one feel uneasy, incompetent, embarrassed, apprehensive, afraid, nervous, sad, unhappy & worried. The negative energy associated with these emotions leads one to be inwardly drawn and lonely in absence of adequate outside support resulting in mental disorders. One panics in this state of mind because of intense anxiety and gets trapped in the vicious cycle of worries & fear.  One exhibits overwhelming symptoms like trembling, short of breath, rapid heartbeat, feeling unwell, suffocation, numbness etc.   Finding oneself in this condition requires temporary distractions by change of focus, calming of mind via meditation/deep breathing/music, avoiding discussion on negative things, distracting one’s mind by doing creative things & physical exercise, connecting with like-minded people in order to release suppressed feelings.

Facing relationship conflict;

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Facing relationship conflict;

A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Know it that there are two things in life that we can never change; the past and other people. Accept & embrace the ideal & the not-so-ideal, without conditions. Generally our belief we have common ground to make seemingly different ideas come together makes us try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal partner. In a relationship, wanting to change other is dishonest. Do not try to change/control the other, you will lose your influence and generate distance that makes partner step outside resulting in disappointment & frustration.

Frustration is a sign of failure in getting what we want and thus our self-esteem & self-confidence are reduced. Frustration is a form of fear or anger, emotions that arise inside us, distract us & even blind us. The negative emotions makes one lose control & dictates one’s response. The expectations (disguised desires) generates a conflict, we feel victimized and blame others/situation for our unhappiness and loose our sense of well-being. Our negative perception, attitude & behavior to change, influence & control others/situation, is responsible for the mental & emotional pain.

The detachment & disconnect with the real world because of over indulgence with virtual world has made one prone to instant depiction of intense emotions linked to something one feels strongly about that may lead to emotionally debilitating heartbreaks. The result one gets into anxiety mode and in extreme cases even depression. There is need to learn how to channelize & express one’s emotions linked to expectations, rejection, criticism, curiosity, approval etc in an inspiring way rather than irritating & intimidating way for the recipient.        

Create a purpose to determine your existence.

Create a purpose to determine your existence.

Life is hectic & complicated. Everyone is fighting for time. Create a purpose to determine your existence. Uncertainties make one worry and unhappy.  Realize uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Experience makes life better not bitter. Experience is a hard teacher, it tests and provides lessons. Struggle and endurance to problems develop inner strength and enhances Mental Strength. Look inside, awaken and gain insight to count your blessings. Be grateful & satisfied with whatever you have achieved to remain motivated. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith & drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts & doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve.

Stress, sleepiness, self indulgence, boredom, lack of will and wandering nature of mind are reasons that distract one from maintaining a stable focus. Behavioural therapy is helpful in replacing old behavioural patterns with new ones that are instrumental in releasing & relieving one of internal mind chatter, relaxation of body and alleviate anxiety.   

It is quite normal for a child to feel anxious sometimes but display of anxiety & phobia without any substantial/apparent reason is a cause of worry. Increasing expectations in the face of cut throat competition, nuclear family limiting family connections, inadequate social mingling are some of the reasons for a child to develop anxiety disorders that results in devastating effect on his/her academic performance. A child’s frequent complaints before certain tasks like headache, stomach-ache, feeling unwell and physical distress may be symptomatic of anxiety disorders. These children fighting anxiety & depression exhibit sleep problem, radical behavioural change such as withdrawal, loss of interest in activities, aggression, hyperactivity, difficulty in eating, and oppositional defiance. These signs when observed in a child should not be ignored and discussed with a professional. Cognitive behaviour therapy provides favourable outcomes.

Anmol Singh- Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Life comes with insecurities that drives one seek approval and appreciation for one’s actions. It is natural but life needs to move on. One cannot be stuck down with anxiety and fear of missing out as it is detrimental for health. Listen & reflect, reconcile and harmonize different viewpoints to understand reality. Live in the present moment with non judgemental attitude to eliminate build up of stress and lead a joyful life. Detox your body and mind by disciplining your mind to overcome stress and relax in order to prepare oneself for playing a constructive role in life. Put aside thoughts of past & future, do not judge yourself, be calm & quiet, be aware of your each & every action, observe & learn. Switch focus to things enriching and entertaining to live your dream. Let professional counselling help you in this endeavour.

Responsibilities make one take life seriously and completely forget about self care for revitalizing one’s body & mind. In the process, one fine day one starts feeling mentally, emotionally and physically tired/exhausted. The emotional and physical exhaustion makes one incapable of handling stress, develop low esteem & resentment. The body and mind needs to be rejuvenated consistently while discharging our worldly duties for a joyful life. Do not ignore own personal needs while taking care of others. Pamper yourself, spare time for communion with nature, meditation, naturopathy, opt for regular physical exercise & healthy diet for a break from the reality for sometime in order to relax your mind and clam down your body.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

   

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – for anger management

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – for anger management

Everyone experiences anger, fear, worry, sadness and joy. Anger destroys one’s intellect leading to one’s own ruin. One loses control over oneself and in a fit of rage behaves in an irrational/illogical way that harms him/her and others. Fear, failure, loss, threat, insult, assault, cheating, bullying, unhealthy relationship and adverse life-situation are the factors that trigger anger. Think clearly, reasonably, compassionately before an exaggerated impulsive reaction. Self awareness, self control and virtues like love, kindness, patience, humility, forgiveness helps manage one’s anger. A non judgemental conciliatory approach helps to restrain emotional trigger to anger, quietens the mind, restrains flare up of negative energy, deal with complex situation and clear tense atmosphere. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps develop immunity to irritants responsible for the negative emotion anger. Go for professional counselling to rein in your anger. 

Fragile relationships

Fragile relationships

Meaningful personalised engagement via deep & substantive conversations rather than superfluous talk builds deep bonds, a prerequisite for a happier relationship. Confidence and content in purposeful polite conversation helps know & truly understand each other & establish a deeper connect for a rewarding relationship. On the other hand complicated relationship generates stressful, emotional & mentally exhausting problems and turns into a constant struggle to let go of distasteful things. Emotional management i.e. identifying what is spoiling the relationship, confronting the situation/person and candid discussion to resolve issues quickly is the need of the hour. Bitterness or grudges in a fragile relationship do not affect the recipient as much as they affect the one harbouring them. Letting go of the pain, anger & guilt felt towards this relationship and allowing feelings of love, joy and acceptance by detaching from past issues is a must. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful gifts one can give each other in most fragile relationship.     

Interaction with Toxic people (bullies) at times is the reason for stress that manifests itself in many ways –insomnia, psychological ailments, depression etc. Consistent exposure corrodes away confidence, makes one skeptical about own capabilities thus results in loss of self belief. One opts for avoidance coping strategies like drinking alcohol to cut down on experiencing frequent negative emotions. Instead one needs professional counselling to learn to deal with own emotions in order to change self to raise own morale and life more exciting.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh