Nagging a child ?

Nagging & unpleasant words spoken, comparisons & blame, rude behaviour and careless treatment meted out adversely damages self worth & self esteem of a child.  The adjectives used like useless, pathetic, good for nothing fellow, stupid, idiot etc  makes them feel humiliated invites impolite response as they rebel and react with brazenness to express defiance. Instead comprehending their needs, supporting, walking & empathizing with them in challenging times builds up their confidence & develops qualities of patience, tolerance & acceptance, prepares & strengthens them to handle uncomfortable challenges. Valuing his/her existence, spending time with him, encouraging child’s initiatives & making learning a fun process while growing up builds an everlasting bond and grooms & conditions the child to accept & reciprocate in a style that is not found weird/awkward. Recognition and genuine praise in public or even in private duly appreciating his/her achievement makes the child feel important, brings a natural smile and motivation to excel.

 

Self doubt rather than facing failure kills the WILL to dream. There is profound need to reorient one’s habit of brooding over the personal discomfort and inconvenience. Immerse & engage self, passionately in an activity that is emotionally, intellectually & aesthetically stimulating enough to help you tide over the troublesome dark thoughts. Adapt to the new situation and relax. Perseverance & endurance helps one become a resolute and resilient human being.

 

Today’s youth is techno-savvy and deeply engaged in free expression of themselves, without any inhibition, about their looks, thoughts and work in the social media. The quantification of likes, shares and comments they receive in the virtual world do add to the pressures. The illusion about one’s popularity and credibility, perceptible trust & loyalty redefines one’s desperation to increase the numbers to the extent that one may opt for unethical means to achieve the same.

 

Apathy and not hate is destructive. Aspire to get rid of negativity & discover own identity. Any incidence can change life in all aspects like never before, be aware & channelise energy in the right direction. Don’t succumb to pressures & continue to dream. Life’s too short to while away time, make mistakes & learn from them. Adapt, think about survival, be empathetic & respect fellow human beings rather than getting engulfed in suspicion & acquiring rebellious attitude without a cause in the face of severe toxicity. 

 

Interaction that is uncomfortable and puts you in an embarrassing/awkward situation must be cut short without losing cool and being disrespectful. Interpersonal communication, be it with parents, relatives, friends or colleagues, must be healthy & responsive enough to cultivate a strong bond to have a support group. No one in life keeps showering unconditional love in today’s time.

 

School/Childhood friendship, the true friends, is the family an individual cherishes & prides in because the bond of friendship is cemented by unadulterated meeting of minds despite being unique individually. They provide the reality check one needs to stay grounded. The prejudices, comparisons, judgments, jealousies, complexes etc do not influence & affect the bonding between true friends.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

It is natural for a human to get influenced by those who impress him/her. Each of us is unique hence one must focus on identifying his/her own uniqueness rather than develop an inferiority complex.  Do not blindly try to be like them and compete with them. Be completely yourself, laugh at self and live a life suiting your sensibilities because what you have inside (the compassion, the gratitude, the delight & happiness at others achievement) is what matters.  Self confidence helps you face successfully an adverse situation beyond your control.