A Child

Anmol Singh-Psychologist and Counselor, Chandigarh

Being sensitive, appreciating and giving complete attention to the efforts put in, is what every child relishes. Provide him/her space/opportunity to embrace and love self in order to motivate & make the child believe positively in his/her achievement, how-so-ever minuscule it may be, at the end of putting in all the efforts and hard work. Let him/her celebrate failure also, it will stop the child from losing his/her morale and gives him/her the drive to perform better and remain happy. It also strengthens the bond thus improves relationship & communication and in turn makes his/her growing up more enjoyable.       

Do not get stuck, move on.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Do not get stuck, move on.

Growing up is a journey doing different things, seeking attention while connecting with others in a deeper way to understand how one wants to live.  In due course one’s ambitions & expectations evolve with experience, priorities change, things turn sour & relationship breaks. One develops deep remorse over the broken relationship and in order to cope with heartbreak develops a state of mind when he/she starts feeling low due to persistent sadness and loss of interest. Be aware that in the pursuit to how you want to live, your own happiness is what you deserve the most. Remain confident, optimist, take the situation as a challenge, spend time with nature and pursue your passion to distract your attention from the situation.  

Listen patiently to your child

Listen patiently to your child

Parents – please hear the child patiently instead of giving your judgement. The spoken words and actions impact a child. Be attentive, sensitive, considerate and receptive to their feelings and express your ideas & view point devoid of pre-conceived assumptions, anticipation, expectations & your own perceptive. Encourage, acknowledge & be supportive of them rather than responding emotionally. Emphasis on your own feelings, opinion & experience while interacting with child shifts the focus from his/her subject and makes him feel less valued.  

Social media

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Social media

Empty syndrome experienced by individuals due to lack of personal interaction in absence of close and trusted company drives one to be obsessed with engagement on digital social media platforms. The comparisons indulged in on social platforms by the individual, invites built up of unwarranted depression, leading to set in of anxiety & sadness. The unhappiness so cropped in makes an individual a very negative person. One should be aware that it is human nature to be always selective, projecting only positives and favourable rather than the negative experiences about self. Comparing self with other’s having better placements & career, earning well, having great holidays, buying expensive things etc. generates jealousy and anxiety.  The self esteem of an individual takes a hit when he/she starts feeling everyone is better off than him/her leading to depressive phase. 

Mindfulness

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Mindfulness

Mindfulness, means to be fully present in the here and now, for mental health and well being is slowly gaining foothold in today’s fast paced world. It empowers an individual to overcome the ever consuming thoughts of anger, fear, desire, despair, longing or regret & thus understand one’s own physical, mental and emotional state. The real/correct perspective so gained helps to heal, transform and nourish. Pause, relax and be aware of the present moment, your feelings, emotions in to get a grip on your response, as one’s response to challenges makes all the difference. The fast paced life is affecting children also. Children are hyper-active and suffer short attention spans. They need to be taught to carry out any activity, be it eating, walking, reading or listening with entire focus to raise them as capable adults who will be in control of their emotions.     

Parenting

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

You think your child is not mature enough or knows enough to be a responsible individual and hence frequently provide him/her unsolicited advice at each and every step of taking a decision. You are impeding his/her journey to become self sufficient and self reliant. Having expectations is normal as long as it does not affect the child’s mind. Do for them what you want to do but do not expect them to behave the way you want them to, let them depend on themselves. One must appreciate the existence of generation gap because the views & values imbibed by children while growing up in different times and cultures are in variance than yours. The dependence on others in life restricts one from learning own lessons, make peace with life as it progresses and discover oneself thus relying on & allowing others to hold reins of life. Sudden loss/disruption in dependency generates a gamut of emotions of disbelief, denial, hurt and fear inside. Personal independence to experience, learn from mistakes, gain confidence and build own identity is a must to grow into a self reliant individual. Parents need to communicate, care, guide, be back up resource and control in right measure rather than interfering too much which breeds rebellious attitude. Parents need to trust children with more responsibility to cultivate capability to decide on the direction he/she wishes to take in life and facilitate transition from childhood to adulthood. 

Shed your emotional baggage.

Anmol Singh- Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Shed your emotional baggage.

Circumstantially anyone, male or female, who is a loner, needy, overwhelmed, can become emotionally vulnerable. He/she is more often than not moody, over-sentimental, sad and even aggressive. He/she shares/offloads his/her feelings and counterpart tends to the emotional baggage that with time becomes too much to handle and is exhausting. One stops living one’s own life and suffers from missing the most happening time, resulting in psychological damage. When finding yourself in such a situation, you feel like not listening anymore and wanting to distance yourself, reach out to a therapist before it starts taking toll on your physical & mental health.