Parenting

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

You think your child is not mature enough or knows enough to be a responsible individual and hence frequently provide him/her unsolicited advice at each and every step of taking a decision. You are impeding his/her journey to become self sufficient and self reliant. Having expectations is normal as long as it does not affect the child’s mind. Do for them what you want to do but do not expect them to behave the way you want them to, let them depend on themselves. One must appreciate the existence of generation gap because the views & values imbibed by children while growing up in different times and cultures are in variance than yours. The dependence on others in life restricts one from learning own lessons, make peace with life as it progresses and discover oneself thus relying on & allowing others to hold reins of life. Sudden loss/disruption in dependency generates a gamut of emotions of disbelief, denial, hurt and fear inside. Personal independence to experience, learn from mistakes, gain confidence and build own identity is a must to grow into a self reliant individual. Parents need to communicate, care, guide, be back up resource and control in right measure rather than interfering too much which breeds rebellious attitude. Parents need to trust children with more responsibility to cultivate capability to decide on the direction he/she wishes to take in life and facilitate transition from childhood to adulthood.