Don't put lives on hold

Do not put your lives on hold.

Change your attitude of putting things off for later. Take the bull by horns and Just do it without getting into ifs and buts.  Take up the toughest task when your energy levels are high and leave easier one for the lazy phase. Avoid distractions. Focus on what you can do and what is the best way to do. Start with baby steps, fix and relish meeting small targets and move to larger goal.  

Frequent disagreements and arguments

Disagreements and Arguments

Disagreements and arguments are a fact of life. Abrupt emotional outbursts while expressing your disagreements turns a simple argument into personal attacks resulting in breakdown of healthy communication. Respect other’s view point and do not laugh it away. Give a short break when getting into heated arguments.  Convey your concerns and disagreement softly in low volume rather than in an agitated way to lower the agitation and tension of the other party. Express your disagreements in private to avoid public humiliation. Treat the other person as human too. Relationships & friendships are very fragile and get lost to arguments that get out of control. Focus on action necessary for reconciliation and meaningful resolution of issues.

Seek professional psychological consultation. M-9872880634

Change and nurture healthy intimate relationships

Change and nurture healthy intimate relationships.

The love, support and encouragement disappears the moment relationship is strained resulting in isolation and unhappiness.  A professional councilor while dealing with personal & emotional issues facilitates conversations to strengthen and improve existing connections. Listens/talks patiently to identify unhelpful/helpful patterns of interpersonal interaction and help overcome hurdles/difficulties in developing a healthy/productive relationship. Scientifically addresses mental and emotional disorders in order to help modify perceptions and behavior towards better understanding. A councilor provides an opportunity to be heard in confidence, trust, privacy without fear or favour and helps two/more individuals relate to each other’s feelings and work out differences to change unproductive behaviors for a better living together.  

Taming of emotions

Tame your emotions.

Emotions like anger & irritability take over control when one is upset. Be calm, respectful, do not argue & do not blame. But do not suppress your emotions, discuss the situation & assess the reasons calmly later on. Hassles, inconveniences & non-sensical incidents are part of daily life, do not take it too seriously and find humorous side of it and laugh it away. Laughter helps in viewing stressful situation in a particular way and more objectively at the same relaxing your mind. Do not isolate yourself. Hope & acceptance instead of anger, hostility, aggression provides meaning to life. Little acts of love & kindness, helping others distracts one from own worries and keep depression at bay. Have faith, understand, come to grips with situation and be optimistic in order to cope with life.          

Meaningful positive friendships - requirement of the present times

Meaningful positive friendships

Generally classmates, acquaintances, colleagues form the broader friend circle. In childhood classmates who sit next to you in class or ones whom you play with/spend most time with, In adulthood same age group with whom we mostly hang out with and now Virtual friends on social platforms like facebook (the most dangerous & damaging) define our social behavior.

We come across people/persons

Ones who are concerned just about themselves

Ones who always have an excuse when you need them in emergency

Ones whose frequency of interactions with you varies depending upon the state of affairs you are in i.e having a good life or otherwise.

Ones who cheat & back stab for their own advantage.

Ones who reveal your secrets, shared in confidence, in public.

One is required to revisit and revise the definition of a friend. Remove the clutter from your life and retain only true well wishers.

It is advisable to expect only what you yourself are ready and willing to do, do not take them for granted. Stick by them more through their bad times than in their happy moments.

Befriend yourself, live in your own happy little universe with high degree of self esteem thus you will never have to chase friends.

Be interested

Be interested.

Dale Carnegie said “To be interesting, be interested”. A person expresses himself/herself in both verbal and non verbal way simultaneously. His/her postures, gestures, movements, eye gaze and facial expressions deliver a specific response in a given situation. Reading body language along with verbal communication is the core quality of an empathetic listener. A good listener engaged in 100% listening is more connected and makes the other comfortable enough to tell you more and gets real facts. He/she is fully present in each moment, with intent and without judgement, thus has quality interactions that enhances the clarity of thoughts, emotional balance, compassion, acceptance and quality of relationships. It helps in finding a practical solution to the issue.      

Be in love with yourself and enjoy life

Be in love with yourself to enjoy life. Follow a daily routine, you are passionate about, of a short duration during the day exclusively for and by yourself to rejuvenate. Our thoughts do express through our body in the form of sickness and joy hence distraction from immediate disturbing factors hassling you lessens the stress building hormones and releases feel good chemicals. Keeping mind-body connect in tandem is a must. Being a more grounded & happy person starts with letting GO of worry & stress. Counseling session helps you learn to have a hold on your will power. Contact m-9872880634

Interesting human behavior

Interesting human behavior

Brooding with anger and irritation is a universal behavior that adversely affects health and peace of mind. It develops because we generally hide our true emotions, the real innermost feelings and are not true to our selves while interacting with people even with those we trust and are close to us except with those we are comfortable with. We do not speak our mind. We do not open up our heart. We do not express what we actually feel. It is the social conditioning. It is so just because we are afraid to be judged by people and to be used against us. We politely agree when face to face but are critical at the back. Expressing your true emotions, without hurting others, is liberating for one self in the long run but leaves one with very few limited or may be NIL well wishers in life.      

Resentment and frustration

Resentment and frustration, factors detrimental to one's peace of mind,  starts building up when one starts feeling of being taken undue advantage of, feeling disappointed in absence of due recognition & appreciation, feeling completely drained of energy etc.

 

Learn to draw a line for a healthy, happy and joyful living. Discipline yourself by prioritizing things that are necessary for your survival and self growth. Taking on responsibilities more than you can handle is one of the contributing factors to your physical and emotional stress. Generally the feeling of guilt associated with saying NO, a difficult task, to people concerned deters one from opting for firm refusal to demands that disturb the balance of the schedule of your own life. Quality of one’s life depends one's clarity of mind in taking amicable decisions without being defensive or apologetic. Help others but not at your own cost by denying adequate time to your own priorities.

Now is the time and it is never too late to restructure your life plan and stop bothering that people concerned shall get upset with your FIRM REFUSAL to their expectations & demands.         

Human mind

Human mind is exposed to goodness, positivity, pessimism and negativity. The character of a person depends upon the degree to which his/her mind captures either positivity and goodness or pessimism and negativity. It gets reflected in the form of one’s words, actions and attitude in crisis/difficult times. The assessment is made on the basis of how quietly and gracefully one accepts defeat and hardships of life. One with a strong character gets into fire fighting mode with composure, acceptance of adverse conditions, courage and conviction in self for right action. He/She appreciates and feels blessed with friends who express genuine concern and stand by in the adverse times rather than feeling let down by the trusted one’s. One with a weak character gets into fright& flight mode gripped by helplessness, blaming and cursing the circumstances for the hardships. So, trust in ups & downs of life, everything happens for a reason, keep building on stock of positive thoughts, soak character in strength and self belief that this too shall pass.   

Anger

Anger is an expression of one’s annoyance, irritation, displeasure, resentment to provocations. Untamed/uncontrolled anger damages relationships, friendships and families due to one’s frequent verbal or physical outbursts. It affects the behavior of one’s children who are often witness to angry outbursts. Road rage, domestic violence, child abuse, physical assault and even murder are consequences of mismanaged anger. Once one realizes about one's overblown, misdirected and unwarranted response, it gives birth to guilt, shame, embarrassment, remorse, loss of peace of mind and damage to self esteem. It can cost you your health. Buddha says “ you will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger”.  Go for counseling to learn anger management. Contact m-9872880634