One suffers discomfort from suppressing one’s true identity. One must get the real sense of self -identity; other’s prejudices must not hold importance in one’s life. The uncertainty gives birth to worries that cause discomfort, engage your mind in challenging activity with clear achievable goal to create a state of flow (state of mind) to disengage from likely emotionally unpleasant experiences. 

Struggling with emotional coming of age

Child Psychologist and Counselor

You observe your child never feels good enough. Find him struggling with emotional coming of age and associated drama unfolding in his/her journey of questioning every aspect of his/her own identity to reach a state of self acceptance. He / She does not value his/her self and taken a path of self destruction.  The child needs to understand life is certainly not a straight line and has to face many ups and downs. Every child deals with it at some point of time in life while growing up. A psychologist helps him/her understand that the problems are common/general in nature and not affecting only him/her. Professional counselor assists him/her find emotional vocabulary that guides and provides direction to deal with everyday struggles. It is hard work and there are no shortcuts to healing on the path to recovery from emotional ailments.

Beware of toxic friendship

Toxic friendship

Humans are vibrational beings. Positive people are high vibrational beings and their company propels us onwards and upwards whereas negative people/Toxic people are low vibrational beings and their company is energetically draining that pulls us down thus directly affecting our success & happiness. You should not keep holding on to the company of negative people just because you are a loving & compassionate person.

We naturally grow & evolve as we mature & experience life. Our friendships must adapt accordingly. While it is admirable to develop lifelong friendships, the truth is, people change and everyone does not take responsibility for the life they live. Toxic friends, when not happy, tend to pull everyone around them down too. Friends who disrespect your time, complain rather than solve problem, gossip, show constant negativity, are jealous and believe in taking instead of giving are the toxic ones however this is not about the friend that goes through a rough spot, needs some extra time and attention once a while. Trust your heart, have courage to do little pruning and clear your life of toxic friendships. It is worth the wait for like-minded people to come into your life. Toxic friends are easy to identify once you know what to look for.

So ask yourself:

1. Do you feel exhausted after spending time with them?

The brief innocuous conversation ends with you feeling tired and drained.

2. You are unable to say a word during the conversation?

You are not actually having a conversation. You are just listening to their complaints and list of woes in life. This is not about a friend in need or one going through transition, it is about those people who talk at you rather than with you - all of the time.  

3. Do they respect your time?

They keep talking on & on even when you have said you are busy and cannot talk right now.

4. How do you feel physically?

While talking to someone, in that moment, do you feel relaxed, inspired & happy or are you holding your breath and looking desperately for a way to break the conversation.

5. Are you caught in the gossip trap?

Gossip might make you feel bonded to a friend, but it is draining. Participating in gossip leaves you feeling terrible at the end. Chances are they will eventually gossip about you anyways, so protect yourself.

6. Do you withhold positive news from them so they are not jealous?

True friends are happy when your life is going well whereas Toxic friends are jealous and will compare their own life to yours instead of celebrating your wins.

Laugh & Laugh

Laughter is the best medicine for mind and body. Laughing is natural but the frequency decreases with age as you grow up and become less natural.

Benefits

There is no other medicine more economical than this.

It decreases the risk of getting stressed and depression.

It increases the quantum of friendly Cholesterol.

It increases the anti-bodies production, thus increases immunity.

Loud laughter energizes our nerves, intestine, lungs &throat and flow of blood.

Laughter changes silence of eyes into vibrant language.

Laughter fills lips with magic.

Happy people live longer.

Advisable tips

Retain and store all the positive thoughts, positive techniques in your mind and use them liberally according to your need and time at your disposal. Indulge in your hobby, exercise regularly, build friendships, listen to music and enjoy humour. This approach will always keep you happy.

Feeling low or stressed, it’s time to extend support

Child psychologist and Counselor

Feeling low or stressed, it’s time to extend support.

You find someone very close/loved one feeling low or stressed, it’s time to extend support. Be concerned and initiate conversation to enable person evaluate his/her life, experiences, abilities, be aware about self, express feelings and vent out pent-up emotions to help lighten the burden.  Listen, do not judge, express genuine concern, provide emotional support with empathy & understanding to help cope in a better way with his/her feeling of  helplessness & hopelessness Encourage the person to seek timely professional help for a healthy and happy future.  

Build, develop and maintain self confidence

Child psychologist and Counselor

Self confidence, an inner powerful and strong belief, helps you face successfully a situation beyond your control. Past failures, an environment with negative people, wrong assumptions & beliefs, emotional & physical state do lowers one’s self confidence.  It solely depends on the way an individual takes care of himself/herself internally. Watch your words, these reflect your innerself. Self talk, habitual negative talk or cribbing, needs to be urgently arrested and changed. Be grateful for all that you have achieved, big or small, and tap each opportunity with a belief that you can and deserve every chance to grow, prosper and flourish. Spend more time with people having positive mindset, optimistic and constructive approach to life.  Build, develop and maintain self confidence. Collaborate with people sharing same goal and vision to boost self confidence level.

Handle with care

Handle with care

Depression causes suffocating and detrimental severe emotional and physiological problems. It drains an individual’s energy and self-esteem. The feeling of worthlessness, despair & hopelessness shatters self-confidence resulting in his/her less socialization, isolation and loneliness resulting in depression taking over. Family support is crucial to help them tackle this phase in life.  Psychological Counseling among others is one of the effective treatment options.    

Life ??

Child psychologist and Counselor

Life is present moment – your past & future is delusional that inflicts pain.

Regrets of the past, worries about future and being judgmental annihilates the present from our lives. Accept & Focus on present condition, be objective & get rid of stressful thoughts, concentrate on current activity, be fully aware of your behavior and reactions, understand its impact on state of mind, embrace the reality, live in present moment for a happy, joyful and de-stressed life.

Importance of self worth

Child Psychologist and Counselor

Importance of self worth

Self-worth is of paramount importance and crucial factor in tackling depression and anxiety. One creates a belief, over a period as one grows, about one’s identity and impression. Never compare self with others, neither seek gratification/approval nor opt for a false escape from reality. Focusing on one’s achievements howsoever little and celebrating them strengthens a positive belief about his/her self-worth. Spending time with people who inspire, motivate and respect gives a fillip to self-worth. Regularly introspect your emotions and behavior, try to get better than before and live up to your own expectations.  Seek help from friends, family or professional.   

Anger Management  

Anger is suffering, hurt, ruining of relationships and self punishing. It causes heartache & regret. When we are angry at some unexpected upsetting behavior, it temporarily generates a powerful false sense of ourselves taking control over it. The raging thought of having being wronged is an image within our mind that makes us get angry and our out of control emotional/physical outbursts lead to destruction and pain. Consider the hostile state as foreign to your true nature. Realize, recognize and be aware of its destructive, pain inflicting nature instead of the temporary powerlessness and take the hostile state lightly.

Happiness

Our state of mind i.e calmness, peacefulness, quietness gets disturbed by our living in the narrow confines of boundaries, limitations we assign to the concept of our happiness while busy fighting the odds/challenges of daily life. The constant comparisons, running after materialistic things, the weaknesses, guilt leads to unhappy state of mind. Happiness lies in the greater joys of life found in your creativity, strengths, simple living, affirmation to be happy and beauty of nature.

Do not let emotions hold you back.

Child psychologist and Counselor, Chandigarh

Do not let emotions hold you back.

The resentment and regret at being taken undue advantage of, a feeling none is sincere to you and the disappointment at not being recognized & appreciated for your help by one’s friends/loved ones builds anger and often pushes one away from them. The false pride creates differences and leads to isolation. Do not let it happen. Learn to forgive, appreciate what you have and move on in life.