Trust Issues? - No one can live without trust.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Trust Issues?   - No one can live without trust.

Personal negative & damaging experiences in childhood or even adolescence that leave deep scars affects the belief system and contributes to an adult developing lack of trust. Parents’ actions and behavior perceived to be hypocritical, witnessing extreme bouts of anger or rage, betrayal of trust such as child abuse, sense of insecurity significantly reduces the ability to accurately judge the trustworthiness of others. One suffers from limiting thoughts like “I’ll only get hurt again” / “Everyone is out to get me”. Past experiences, fears, and a desire to protect self from any further pain or disappointment, forces one to build social barriers as a defense mechanism to ensure their future emotional protection. Confusion as regards prevailing uncertainty, double standards experienced, breakups, divorce, and unstable family enhances the distrust further.

Distrusting the people damages close relationships who start to feel like they are not good enough or can never do the right thing resulting in their resentment and broken relationships. Technology also plays a big part in generating trust issues among couples. Cell phones, text messages and social media helps a disloyal partner turns deceptive and gets away with it for longer periods of time thus making it difficult to live fulfilling life.

Acknowledge the mistrust issue affecting yourself, an honest admission serves as the positive beginning needed to re-establish trust in others. Open up yourself and spend time with someone like a friend or a family member or a professional who genuinely wants what is best for you and begin to trust their judgment. Learn and develop the ability to trust through sharing experience with others who are going through similar situations. A qualified mental health professional can help in both understanding where the trust issues come from and providing effective ways to develop trust.

Falling in love and Breakup

Falling in love and Breakup

In the prime of life we meet and interact with many persons but strike an instant unexplained liking for & connection with the person. This emotional chord is falling in love.  The ensuing dialogue provides an opportunity to understand the way this person thinks, acts & lives. It also gives an understanding of self. This person preoccupies your thoughts, mind, texts & photographs are exchanged, together do things that interests & brings enjoyment, make compromises, commits emotionally. And then this heartbreak & rough breakup occurs. It hurts but moving on in life is very important. Take a road to recovery as soon as possible. Don’t get trapped in whys? & How? of it. Accept any explanation that fits the fact and keep your self esteem intact. It could be unwillingness to commit, emotional drift or societal pressures. Do not follow the person on social media to deny ex’s presence in your thoughts, list compromises you made not to repeat in future, keep doing things that interest you and brings joy, remove the texts & photographs from social network to erase the reminders of relationship and reach out to friends and make the most of their support. The peculiarities of life must be handled in a way to lead a qualitative life. Move on. Life is precious, do not let it sway.

Struggle in life – pressure of expectations

Struggle in life – pressure of expectations

A person faces disappointments, unhappiness, anxiety, depression etc. in pursuit of life goals. Circumstances are beyond our control but reaction in these situations can definitely be kept in check. Careful reflection indicates that your faith/belief evokes an emotion (thought) that manifests into your reaction. Maintaining right attitude, being optimist, regular exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep, pursuing hobbies, vacationing in the lap of nature, meditation, healthy social (friends & well wishers) support keeps one grounded and provides inner peace as well as strength to keep in check of unwarranted response. The root cause of all troubles and stress, in the face of adverse conditions can be negated. The perfect balance of mind, body and soul energizes one’s life, full of joy and happiness.

Different Types of Anxiety Disorders

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Different Types of Anxiety Disorders - by Dr. Serge Gregoire

Anxiety is a common occurrence when a person faces potentially problematic or dangerous situations. It is also felt when a person perceives an external threat. However, chronic and irrational anxiety can lead to a form of anxiety disorder. There are different types of anxiety disorder depending on their causes or triggers.

Generalized anxiety disorder

A person who has this type of anxiety disorder usually experience prolonged anxiety that is often without basis. More accurately, people with generalized anxiety disorders cannot articulate the reason behind their anxiety. This type of anxiety usually last for 6 months & often affect women.  Due to the persistence of the anxiety, people affected with generalized anxiety disorder constantly fret and worry. This results to heart palpitations, insomnia, headaches & dizzy spells.

Specific phobia

Unlike someone with generalized anxiety disorder, a person who has a specific phobia experiences extreme & often irrational fear of a certain situation or object. When exposed to the object or situation they fear, people with specific phobias exhibit signs of intense fear like shaking, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, & nausea. Common specific phobias include fear of heights, enclosed spaces, blood, & animals. The fear a person with phobia feels can be so extreme that he or she may disregard safety just to escape the situation.

Panic disorder

Also, known as Agoraphobia, panic disorders are characterized by recurring panic attacks which are often unexpected. Symptoms are usually shaking, chest pains, dizziness, fear of losing control, & reluctance of being alone. People with panic disorder are aware that their panic is usually unfounded & illogical. This is why they avoid public situations & being alone. A panic attack can be so severe that people may lose control & hurt themselves.

Social phobia

Alternatively called social anxiety, a person with social phobia may exhibit similar symptoms like those of panic disorder especially in social situations. Shaking, dizziness, shortness of breath, & heart palpitations may ensue when a person with social phobia finds his or herself at the center of attention or in the company of many people, regardless whether they are strangers or not.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

People with obsessive-compulsive disorder experience anxiety caused by a persistent obsession or idea. They tend to avoid experiencing anxiety by resorting to repetitive actions or behaviors that prevent anxiety. For example, a person who is obsessed about cleanliness may experience anxiety at the mere sight of a vase placed slightly off-center. To prevent anxiety, he or she will clean & organize everything compulsively or without reason.

PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder may occur after a person experienced a severely traumatic event. He or she may relive the experience in his or her mind which causes stress & anxiety. If a person with PTSD comes into contact with stimuli (any object, person, or situation) that he or she associates with the traumatic event, he or she may literally re-experience the event by crying uncontrollably, panicking, or losing control. Subtle symptoms include insomnia & avoidant behavior. PTSD may manifest itself immediately after the traumatic event or even years after.

The good news is that there is hope. It is possible to recover from anxiety (2, 3). The primary source of anxiety is the imbalance in the gut function.  Techniques & methods that are used to help a person cope with a certain anxiety usually target not only the management of symptoms but coping mechanisms when exposed to triggers. Only after thorough diagnosis can treatment & recovery for anxiety disorders really commence.

Pathway to success

Anmol Singh- Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Pathway to success.

Clarity of objective i.e. clearly defining goal and availing each & every opportunity for self growth is the key to success. Be aware of your strengths & weaknesses. Do not commit yourself to something wherein you feel on weak foot. Seek professional advice, endure learning, make room for improvement and navigate the challenges effectively.  Listen carefully to constructive feedback and suggestions; be consistent with your efforts.

Boredom

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Boredom

At times one feels that life is monotonous; time is standing still and is static. There is nothing new to experience. One has apprehensions to venture out into the unknown. It indicates there is a need for change in your perspective as boredom leads us down the path to despondency. Shift your attitude by opening your mind to the idea that you can change your way of looking at the situation. It is not so much what we do as it is how we do to change the situation that makes the difference in our lives. Gentle transition from our habitual ways of doing things and an appreciation of all that life offers us brings positive & lasting transformation. Go beyond your comfort zone and explore the wonders that exist all around us.

Anmol Singh, Child Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Search for life.

In the pursuit of self discovery we aim at finding meaning of life. The need to be valued & needed is very basic to our existence and happiness. True joy is intrinsically connected to our inner self.

Shun the tendency to spend most of your time reliving & replaying memories of the past and trying to change what is impossible. Our life in caught in very small cycles where tomorrow tends to turn out similar to yesterday making us feel like we do not have the will-power, the ability to change the circumstances in our lives & destiny and get frustrated. 

The past cannot be relived & cannot be rewritten, let it go. However it is a great resource for learning & sometimes, a resource for useful information, build on it. The future is the result of what we think, feel & do today.

Our passion, conversation with & opinion of positive people creates positive circumstances in our life.   Do not feel inadequate, appreciate & celebrate the efforts & the progress you have made so far in life. No one is perfect and struggles with his/her own flaws. Just go after what matters the most in your life: be loyal, thoughtful, caring, and kind to yourself. The originality of your vision, inspiration, dedication and ability to manifest that vision with the help of people who listen, encourage and support makes you stand apart from others.

Facing rejection, insults & embarrassment

Facing rejection, insults & embarrassments make one doubt oneself. Feeling ignored or not acknowledged makes one react aggressively to control his/her environment and make one’s existence felt. Feeling of belonging, control over one’s environment, meaningful existence & self esteem, when threatened generates anger, sadness and revengeful attitude.  Self disclosure & sharing mental illness with professional reduces psychological stress and makes one happier & satisfied with one’s life.