Trust Issues? - No one can live without trust.

Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Trust Issues?   - No one can live without trust.

Personal negative & damaging experiences in childhood or even adolescence that leave deep scars affects the belief system and contributes to an adult developing lack of trust. Parents’ actions and behavior perceived to be hypocritical, witnessing extreme bouts of anger or rage, betrayal of trust such as child abuse, sense of insecurity significantly reduces the ability to accurately judge the trustworthiness of others. One suffers from limiting thoughts like “I’ll only get hurt again” / “Everyone is out to get me”. Past experiences, fears, and a desire to protect self from any further pain or disappointment, forces one to build social barriers as a defense mechanism to ensure their future emotional protection. Confusion as regards prevailing uncertainty, double standards experienced, breakups, divorce, and unstable family enhances the distrust further.

Distrusting the people damages close relationships who start to feel like they are not good enough or can never do the right thing resulting in their resentment and broken relationships. Technology also plays a big part in generating trust issues among couples. Cell phones, text messages and social media helps a disloyal partner turns deceptive and gets away with it for longer periods of time thus making it difficult to live fulfilling life.

Acknowledge the mistrust issue affecting yourself, an honest admission serves as the positive beginning needed to re-establish trust in others. Open up yourself and spend time with someone like a friend or a family member or a professional who genuinely wants what is best for you and begin to trust their judgment. Learn and develop the ability to trust through sharing experience with others who are going through similar situations. A qualified mental health professional can help in both understanding where the trust issues come from and providing effective ways to develop trust.