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Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

A family relation, bond of blood entrusted by the almighty at birth, is sacred and a special moment for family members. The day you take birth, your journey starts. It is called consanguinity or blood relation, the property of being from the same kinship as another person. It is the quality of being descendent from the same ancestor as another person. A family consists of a mother, father, you and possibly your siblings all under one roof. Each has their own way of life with different priorities but share a connection which keeps them close. That belongingness, that love, that affection, that care is what makes a family. A family relation is driven by a common force of togetherness. The time spent is precious and lasts forever. It goes on for generations. The family wheel is run by supporting each other through good and bad times. It is necessary for everyone in the family to understand what situations are and how to deal with them. That’s how the relation will grow stronger. There should be no time or space for comparison, bad mouthing, provocation, anger, sadness, jealousy, ego or even competition for that matter. Everyone should have a loving family where there is positivity and harmony. Negative thoughts or actions can derail the connection. An openness to different opinions and to learning new ideas should be welcomed and appreciated. Family is considered to be the guiding light for a person who has lost directions. They help you to get back on track. This can be achieved by positive reinforcing. A happy family is a family having deep sense of meaning and purpose in their lives. Unconditional love is the secret to a happy family. And with this it leads to building up a strong and create a protective relation.

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It is essential for you to know what exactly you want. A kind of love, mutual respect, understanding & meeting of minds is what makes relationship last.  Partners must be able to communicate their deepest fears without being judged.   Love yourself first. Let us state out some reasons of why relationship don’t work out. We can basically call them ‘’killers of a relation”. Taking each other for granted and absence of appreciation for each other rather than adapting to the evolving relationship erodes the bond. Laziness kills a relation. Of course no one would like to be with a person who is lethargic. Not being loyal to your partner kills a relation. You’re playing with someone’s faith in you. If either of the partners is disloyal and you can see the signs, leave immediately, don’t linger on and give second chance. They don’t deserve it. Save yourself. One, who wants to be with you, will be with you, no matter what. Don’t trust blindly. Carefully examine everything. Suspicion is another reason. Examining does not mean interfering in private space. When in relationship, have faith if the person is loyal and honest. Your uncalled doubts should not be in excess. Lack of mutual respect for each other does not hold up a relationship. It is doomed to go down. It is simple. You have to be supportive of whatever has or will happen. Giving due respect is priority. Accept the way your partner is. Don’t look for gold every time. Unnecessary arguments/conflicts mainly because of poor communication skills/understanding, inability to express feelings, showing pseudo superiority, and combative voice tone do not work in favour of a relationship.  Why, because you’re too adamant and have an egoistic attitude. Sadly to say, you are not the right person. Every form of infidelity whether be it financial, emotional, psychological, material can lead to a spoil in the relation. Being a liar or over possessiveness, easily destroys the bond. Be true in every aspect. Understand each other. Grow together. Constant nagging by either of the partner, male dominance or female advocacy, kills relationship. Infuriated anger, being insensitive and non-emotional are other factors. Why even to cling on to people who show this kind of behaviour. They are certainly not humane. As a person you should be keen in observing this kind of things happening around. Love is blind, they say because you are not able to see a clear picture. People are often afraid to break up steadily or speak up against something. Change it. No one owns you. It is you before them. If you can’t be happy together, then why be together. Maintain self-respect, your life holds a value. One should honour it. Be out of a toxic relation as soon as possible. Don’t give into your feelings. Analyse it. People also say to give second chance. But do you really think you should? You may if the person has decided to change willingly, otherwise strictly No.  Lack of determination, hate speeches, abuse, cheating are also a major cause for break up. Excessive use of social media can be a reason for break up. See people have issues. No one is perfect. But it is upon you, what do you want Happiness or sadness.

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Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Those in relationship are facing issues, and those who are not, are craving to be in one, while some are happily single. I wonder as to why this occurs. The answer is very simple. We’re at war with our own thoughts. Our mind says something but our heart wants something different. We’re not satisfied. We’re not happy. We’re not at peace.

Why does it happen that people are not satisfied, drift away, feel disrespected, misused & hurt, often get abused and break up. Let me lay it out for you in simple terms. The true essence of love has lost its way. People don’t accept the way others are. Everybody is busy in making his/her choices & opinions. They go after perfection. Everyone is after the outer beauty. There is no regard for what’s inside. Remind you, inner beauty never fades and stays till the end. People forget that there is no shortcut to happiness. Everything takes time. It is all about how you perceive. If it is unhealthy, it shall remain the same unless you change it. Acceptance comes from within. What your soul wants, eventually you will get it. But you have to keep patience. That doesn’t give you a right to go around and break hearts. Remember a broken heart takes time to heal. Step into someone else’s shoes and feel their pain. Only then you will realize the importance of safeguarding the basic foundation of relationship.

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Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

There are many people who are in a stable relationship and going stronger every day. They’re content and happy with their partners. Some are together for years and still hold the same charm. Some are newbie, trying to build a future together fighting against all odds keeping faith in each other and prospering. These are the stories we must look for. There is a lot we can learn from them.

What makes them so passionate to continue with their relationship? The answer can be simply expressed in the form of two words i.e. loyalty and understanding, the basis of any healthy relationship. The relationship is nurtured and flourishes because of these two words spoken by their actions and the commitment. If it’s not there, it wouldn’t work. Honest couples often know what to do to keep the spark in their relation and it’s a mutual effort by both, giving surprises, comforting each other, being trustworthy, being a good listener & understanding each other’s needs, sincere discussions & resolving issues together, sparing time for each other, providing lots of care & unconditional love and most importantly mutual respect. These ingredients build a forever kind of relationship. If all these things are taken seriously, it makes it perfect. Two people coming together in a bond for longevity, makes a relationship blissful. 

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Today’s youth is facing & grappling with an issue “the modern love”.  Almost everyone desires and is in search of meeting someone special to love, care & respect and who is loyal to him/her but the struggle is real. It is a tough task to find this someone because there are lot of other things to be taken care of in today’s fast paced life. There is no denying the fact that every young is bound to experience this struggle in his/her life but eventually after a lot of trials and failed attempts; the modern time individual finally settles with their better half.

The basic concept of a relationship has changed. You really need to understand is that your self-esteem, your life goals, your family, your values, your smile, your peace of mind and you as unique identity is important. Self-love, self-care is the need of the hour. Never ever sacrifice these for those who simply can’t afford it. One must know what is right and what is wrong. A well-mannered, educated, respectful, lively, at peace in mind and one who is loving at heart is always a better choice than anyone having no goals, no mannerism, no way of talking and who just owns things, no matter how great they look. Rise above materialism, outer beauty, worldly possessions, and irrelevant followers. Instead look deep within a person, love their purity, their lovely gestures, their genuineness and kindness and truly one day you shall find what you are looking for.

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Anmol Singh-Psychologist & Counselor, Chandigarh

Psy talk…Anmol Singh

Relationship is emerging a major concern for people in today’s modern society. Some find it beautiful and generate positivity from it, whereas some other, the miscreants, exploit and defame its originality. A coin has two equal sides and none of it is the same. Individual differences will always be there. Relationship is a sensitive topic to deal with. Some might want to agree, adapt and bring change in life, while others ignore and continue with their stubborn approach. It is sad that not many understand & feel the depth of it. Mostly are not even clear about it. Some are forced to have a relation under peer pressure. Many don’t bother to take it seriously. They take it very lightly and cannot deal with the burden of having one. Only a handful few know its importance and appreciate the efforts to maintain it. There are still pure and pious souls who value it and give it an altogether different meaning. Everyone has their own point of view to advice on relationship issues. As individuals it is our moral right to protect and preserve the significance of a relationship. Let it be a natural phenomenon. We need to restore faith in love, compassion and sincerity. Relationship is and will always be guided by your heart, however you feel about it. It is in your hands to channelize it towards a meaningful path. Let it grow with time. Take good experiences with you. Make memories. Do not rush into the future. You can never be sure of what’s going to happen. If you’re well aware of the consequences, never feel disheartened, because everything happens for a reason. Remember, matches are made in heaven? We cannot argue with destiny, but we can make our own fate.

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One should voluntarily cultivate social support circuit of individuals whose actions inspire to dream, learn & do more because one’s passion is not enough to sustain in today’s fast racing world. The physical, financial & social implications of factors that cause fear, panic & anxiety in an individual are devastating.